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One Side: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but friends help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?